(In Nienna's timeline, this takes place before she left on her latest, ill-fated, trip to the Undying Lands.)
Veronica Gaea and Lihan Taifun
***
(Prolog -- summary of Veluthil's story.)
Veluthil and her brother, Gaelon, were much like any brother and sister growing up. He enjoyed teasing her, and he knew just how to do it for maximum effect, always managing to look like the victim rather than the instigator whenever she tried to explain why she despised him so, making her dislike him even more.
Also arrogant and never recognizing boundaries, he often made choices on her behalf, claiming it as his right as her older brother. His choices were never the choices she would have made for herself, and she learned over time that staying away from him was the only resolution to her problem.
Though she had had many suitors, she finally met the one who had won her heart, and they were secretly planning to wed. Gaelon, however, did not like this young elf, and Gaelon, with unskilled tinkering in the arcane arts, inadvertently turned her beau into a shade, living on a plane somewhere between life and death, never again quite able to reach either side. He disappeared from her life, knowing he would never be able to give himself fully to her.
She confronted her brother, and he admitted to having cast something on her lover, muttering on about what it was he did wrong, never apologizing or seeming the slightest concerned that he had just destroyed a a life. Furious beyond anything she had ever felt, she opted to leave the community rather than having to deal with her brother anymore, despite the fact that this choice meant that she might never again see Gaelon's charming little girl, Veluthil's niece.
Many years later, after a life of wandering at will from place to place, never responsible for anyone but herself, never again falling in love, she finally wandered to a land where her brother and his family had themselves emmigrated to. Finding that she missed the connection of family, she laid down roots, making Sylvhara a place she could call Home. However, it wasn't long before the antagonism between Veluthil and Gaelon resumed, as fierce as if she never left home in the first place.
Attempting to avoid him in order to be able to stay in Sylvhara, she heard of a story from many years ago, involving her brother again making decisions for others, resulting in a disruption of lives, changed forever, the lives of his own family... her family. Enraged that Gaelon is still up to his old manipulative tricks, her mind breaks, and she goes after her brother with the intent of killing him. She does eventually find him and stabs him with her dagger, gravely wounding him. But once the deed was done, she returned to herself as if she had been in a trance, now appalled and horrified that she could have done this. She cradled his head in her lap until he was carried away to the Sylvharan Healer's Hall.
The next day, she went to the authorities and confessed, expecting to be thrown in jail and put on trial. Instead, she was given a slap on the hand. Her family, instead of hating her, wanted to forgive her. Even Gaelon apologized for his behavior. Frustrated and angry, feeling a need to answer for her actions, she heads into the woods to seek pennance.
Veluthil and her brother, Gaelon, were much like any brother and sister growing up. He enjoyed teasing her, and he knew just how to do it for maximum effect, always managing to look like the victim rather than the instigator whenever she tried to explain why she despised him so, making her dislike him even more.
Also arrogant and never recognizing boundaries, he often made choices on her behalf, claiming it as his right as her older brother. His choices were never the choices she would have made for herself, and she learned over time that staying away from him was the only resolution to her problem.
Though she had had many suitors, she finally met the one who had won her heart, and they were secretly planning to wed. Gaelon, however, did not like this young elf, and Gaelon, with unskilled tinkering in the arcane arts, inadvertently turned her beau into a shade, living on a plane somewhere between life and death, never again quite able to reach either side. He disappeared from her life, knowing he would never be able to give himself fully to her.
She confronted her brother, and he admitted to having cast something on her lover, muttering on about what it was he did wrong, never apologizing or seeming the slightest concerned that he had just destroyed a a life. Furious beyond anything she had ever felt, she opted to leave the community rather than having to deal with her brother anymore, despite the fact that this choice meant that she might never again see Gaelon's charming little girl, Veluthil's niece.
Many years later, after a life of wandering at will from place to place, never responsible for anyone but herself, never again falling in love, she finally wandered to a land where her brother and his family had themselves emmigrated to. Finding that she missed the connection of family, she laid down roots, making Sylvhara a place she could call Home. However, it wasn't long before the antagonism between Veluthil and Gaelon resumed, as fierce as if she never left home in the first place.
Attempting to avoid him in order to be able to stay in Sylvhara, she heard of a story from many years ago, involving her brother again making decisions for others, resulting in a disruption of lives, changed forever, the lives of his own family... her family. Enraged that Gaelon is still up to his old manipulative tricks, her mind breaks, and she goes after her brother with the intent of killing him. She does eventually find him and stabs him with her dagger, gravely wounding him. But once the deed was done, she returned to herself as if she had been in a trance, now appalled and horrified that she could have done this. She cradled his head in her lap until he was carried away to the Sylvharan Healer's Hall.
The next day, she went to the authorities and confessed, expecting to be thrown in jail and put on trial. Instead, she was given a slap on the hand. Her family, instead of hating her, wanted to forgive her. Even Gaelon apologized for his behavior. Frustrated and angry, feeling a need to answer for her actions, she heads into the woods to seek pennance.
***
After days of wandering through the forests, not physically lost, but lost in her soul, unable to come to an understanding with herself, unable to reconcile how she could commit such an act of unconscienable violence, her spirit feeling twisted and tortured, Veluthil falls to her knees, calling out to someone, anyone, for guidance, though not expecting any answer other than silence. Face in her hands, forehead to the ground, Veluthil sobs.Nienna, in her disguise as "Apakenwe" , hears a cry from elsewhere in the mortal world. Glancing quickly up and down the palace corridors, she assures herself no one is nearby to see her disappear. Silently, she lets her body dissolve and floats between the planes of existence, searching for the source; one of the Children in distress.
 | |
| Nienna Appears |
Ѷeluthil lowers her hands in surprise, not having heard anyone approach. She looks up to see a beautiful woman, dressed in what appears to be the finest of fabrics. With a visible aura about her, this woman is like nothing Veluthil has evern seen before. "Call?" she finally manages to say. "No, I..." then she remembers her cry, and she nods. "I suppose I did. You must have been nearby, though I didn't hear your steps."
"I hear the cries of all the Children of Middle Earth."
Not expecting such an answer, it takes a moment for her to absorb the implications of the statement. With a dawning understanding peppered with disbelief, she whispers, "Who are you?"
"I am Nienna, the Compassionate." With a touch of sadness she continues. "I hear all the cries. I am not always in a position to attend in person. But today I am here.""Nienna?" She thinks back, vaguely recalling stories that her mother had told her as a child. "No," she shakes her head, getting back to her feet. "No, you can't be. They are just stories."
Nienna smiles sadly. "I have seen that, in these lands, Eru and the Valar are not remembered as we once were. Though a few remain here who do remember. Nonetheless, do I look like a story?" She reaches out a hand, and places it gently on the woman's arm. "I am here in truth, and not an illusion."
Ѷeluthil stares at the woman, part of her wanting to believe in the stories of her youth. She feels her cool hand on her arm, warmth radiating through that touch, feeling very much unlike the touch of others.
She nods. "Yes, you do look like what I recall of Mother's stories."
"Now tell me, Child of the Firstborn, what is distressing you?"Ѷeluthil reserves some doubt, but listens to what the woman, Nienna, has to say. With a deep breath, and seeing nothing to lose in doing so, but everything, perhaps, to gain if she is truly Nienna, she speaks, her voice low and soft with shame.
"Lady Nienna, I have..." she chokes up as tears again fill her eyes. "I have done something unforgivable. From some dark place deep within myself, I have committed an act so vile..."
Veluthil pictures her brother, lying in her arms, his lifeblood pouring out of the gaping hole in his side, a hole she made with her own dagger. That image frozen in her memory, she gazes into Nienna's face, her own face a mask of pain and anguish, and remorse.
Perceiving the woman's openness, her desire to communicate a difficult emotion, Nienna looks cautiously into the surface of her mind. She sees the image of a dying young man, and feels the woman's remorse and grief. The woman's name is 'Veluthil.' "Who was he?" she whispers. "How did he die?"
Ѷeluthil looks at her in awe. "He is my brother, and I am glad to say he lives, thanks to the efforts of his daughter and her husband." Her eyes drop as she moves toward answering Nienna's second question. "His grievous wound was my doing. Intentionally so. I tried to kill him." Under normal circumstances, Veluthil is quite self-assured and strong-willed. Now, however, she is not. She stares at the ground at Nienna's feet as she waits to hear her response.
Nienna tilts her head, curious. "You tried to kill him, yet the thought of his death distressed you. And was that the distress that caused you to cry out for help today?"
Ѷeluthil's brow furrows as she tries to explain the deep, mixed emotions that she feels. "Yes, My Lady, in part. Oh my... I despise my brother. Before this, I would have sworn that I hate him to his very core. Yet the thought of his death did upset me very much. But that is not wholly the source of my distress. It is that he would have died by MY hand. That it was I that did this to him, that I had it in my to do this." Her fists clenched with the power of her self-loathing in this act, she closes her eyes to breathe deeply. "I haven't been able to meditate in days, such is my distraction with this."
Nienna nods slowly. "Your remorse is a very healthy sign. So is your desire to meditate. Your future choices are yours to make. What help do you desire?"
Ѷeluthil frowns, not sure what she needs, or what help Nienna might be able to provide. Tears once again begin to slide down her cheeks. "I want to be okay again." She whispers. "I want to know that the next time I see my brother, I won't try to end his life again. I... I want to be able to accept the forgiveness that everyone, including my brother, wishes to give me."
Nienna closes her eyes a moment in deep thought. "You wish what so many of the Dead wish for -- a chance to do better. And, since you are still living, that chance will be given to you."
Ѷeluthil lifts her eyes, gazing into Nienna's face in wonder
Eyes still closed, Nienna extends her perceptions, wider, through space and time ... Smiling mistily, she continues, "If you cultivate compassion, and caring for others, not thinking only of yourself, you will become strong enough to face your brother again. You will soon meet a stranger in need of help. Give that one help, whatever help is needed. That will be a source of healing for the both of you.""A stranger? What stranger? Where? What sort of help...?" Veluthil stops, realizing that her voice is taking on a timbre of panic. Only then does she really see, as she looks back on her life since leaving home, that she has been self-centered in many things. She nods. "Yes, Lady. I will do as you say. I will help this stranger, whatever help is required. How will I know when I have found the one you speak of?"
Nienna smiles, satisfied. "You will know. And you will not have to wait long. Do you see this path in the forest?" She points. "Follow that. Help the one you find."
Ѷeluthil turns her head, looking in the direction indicated. She nods, then bows deeply. "I will do so, and I feel I might even do so with a glad heart. Thank you, Lady Nienna."
"Be well, Child. You will find your healing." With that final blessing, Nienna allows her body to dissolve again, and she returns to her ordinary duties.