Played by:
Lihan Taifun
Behind the willow trees, the Moon is rising. Nienna waits, as she has been instructed. The night breeze plays in her hair, as she sits on the soft grass, looking out over the waters of Lorellin. "Wait," the voice had said, and "remember," and "soon."
Once more, she sees the recent events in her memory. In the first viewing, she had focused on her own actions and reactions. This time, she notes all those around her. "Just as the dead see their lives in Vaire's tapestries," she muses. "Watching each event again and again, until they understand all sides of the story. Now I am the student." Here, in the memory, is Aule, proudly displaying the wall he built around the accursed flowers, his words already full of bitterness. "Yes," she says ruefully, "I knew something was wrong, even then. I did not know then what was the cause, nor did I ever imagine it would ensnare me as well."
Here, in the memory, is Irmo's message, unanswered, and Ilmare's message, also unanswered, and all the cries of the dead and the living, heedlessly pushed aside. Dampness wells around Nienna's eyes as she thinks of how she treated them all. "What can I do now? There are so many things I need to take care of – that I should have taken care of long ago." Here, in the memory, are the Maiar who served herself and Aule with eyes downcast. The tear now leaks down Nienna's cheek. "It is not right that any Maia should fear harsh words – even less fear a blow – from his master. What can I do to make things right for you? Was any Ainu so badly treated before?"
Yes, one was treated worse. Here, in the memory, is Yavanna, who witnessed her husband and Nienna standing defiantly arm in arm. Yavanna hearing scornful words, she who is Aule's rightful wife. Even the memory of the anger in Yavanna's eyes feels like a physical force. Nienna's consciousness backs away from those eyes, and hot tears of shame stream down her face unheeded. "Oh, Yavanna, what have we done to you? Why should you have to endure this?"
Nienna's consciousness backs away until she encounters the memory of the voices. "Take your place again in the Song. Find your healing." Yes, and find Yavanna's healing. "Oh, Yavanna, what can I say? What can I do?" She reaches out with her mind, searching for Yavanna's presence, and is answered by a hollow silence. "She does not wish to speak to me," Nienna says. "Is that any wonder? Why should she ever wish to speak to me again. You say that all will be healed, but I cannot see what can ever heal this hurt."
An echo of the music floats through Nienna's memory, "Do not despair. Do not despair. Your gift to others is hope, and you must have hope."
"Perhaps I should ask Aule," Nienna considers. "He must know where Yavanna is." Memories of Aule rise in her mind; his kind hand washing her scratches, his calloused finger gently tracing the curve of her forehead, his lips against hers, his skin warm against her own, and beneath that skin the firm muscles. The memories fill her with horror, and a cold, joyless pleasure, and a feeling of sickness at the idea that she does remember any form of pleasure from those actions. "Oh, Aule, Aule, go back to Yavanna. Be her healing, if you can."
Nienna's tears continue to fall, mourning the hurts suffered by each person connected with this tragedy. These are the same tears she shed when Melkor destroyed the Trees, and before them the Lamps. These are the tears she shed on the bloodstained docks of Alqualonde, Ages ago, and over every battlefield since. These are the tears she shed when she first sang the Great Song of Creation, and these tears are her own voice in the Song. In harmony, the voices of song in her memory, the memory of the Song, echo, "Do not despair. Do not despair." Long those tears and those voices continue, in Lorien, where time has little meaning.
Finally, Nienna takes a deep, steadying breath, and wipes the back of her hand across her cheeks. "No, I will not despair. There is yet hope. All will yet be healed. Yavanna may not wish my help now, but there are many others who need me. Now it is time to act. Too long have I ignored those who are crying to me for help. Too long have I left the spirits of the Dead without comfort. I must return to the Halls of Mandos. If Aule's Maiar are still at Mandos, I can also speak with them there."
In her mind, she forms a message and sends it to her brother Irmo: "I have been greatly delayed. Melkor's old poisons found targets even among the Valar. Do not be too alarmed. I believe the King of the West now has all the danger in the Blessed Lands contained. Do not let this news turn you from your own responsibilities to the King of the Teleri. The Great War is surely coming, and we must all be watchful and fight the Darkness in all places – the Blessed Lands and the mortal lands alike. I am now returning to the Halls of Mandos, to attend my duties there,which I have neglected too long. Be well."
Her mental message to her brother Namo, Lord of Mandos, is simply, "I return to my duties in your Halls."
Wistfully, Nienna looks down at her physical body. It will be of no use to her in the Halls of the Dead. She flexes her toes one last time, takes one last deep breath of the rich air of Lorien, gazes one more time at the silver moonlight rippling on the surface of Este's lake. Then she dissolves this body – for now – and moves at the speed of thought back to the Halls of Mandos.