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Rhun Darkmoon and Lihan Taifun
Nienna continues to walk quietly beside Aule. He will talk about his troubles when he is ready. She has heard the stories from tens of thousands of the Dead. Once they are comfortable, they talk, no matter how embarrassing their story might be. So, the important thing now is to let Aule feel comfortable. "The forest is beautiful, is it not? Do you see the deer? I think they are watching us. It is a wonder that Orome can hunt such gentle creatures."
Aule had been forced to shorten his stride to match that of his smaller companion. When first they had begun to walk together he had wanted nothing more than to stalk down the road, stomping out his disgust and anger at how he had been treated, but even in his current mood he had not been ill-mannered enough to force the other Vala to hurry after him. Having walked by her side for some time at her calm unhurried pace he had found his thoughts had slowed to match his footsteps. Now at her words, he lifted his gaze from the path before him and looked about, taking in the forest around then and the bounding deer within. Their elegant grace, combined with their long-legged beauty brought a smile to his face, the first it seemed in a long, long time."Yes," he said,"I am sure they are as curious about us as we are about them. Have you ever stopped to watch them long, sweet friend? They are the nosiest of creatures."
"Are they?" Nienna asks curiously. "No, we have no such creatures in Mandos. They find nothing of interest in the Halls of the Dead. Creatures of physical body seldom come there."
Aule takes Nienna's hand and draws her to the edge of the forest, a finger to his lips encouraging her to be silent. He leads her behind the trunk of a mighty tree and then points to the far side of the glade before them. He leans close to her and whispers, "See those young ones over there? Watch them a moment." He pauses while together they watch the youngsters frolic. "There," his voice is very soft so as not to alert the rest of the herd, "See that little one cannot resist that flower that waves in the breeze. It moves so he must go and see what it is."
"Like a child," Nienna whispers. "I have seen the children of the Elves do that. In their memories." She speaks without embarrassment that she has seen the memories of the Dead. It is, after all, part of her job.
Aule nods, "Yes, just like a child discovering the world anew. Only it never leaves the deer. Even when they are grown it remains with them. They never seem to lose their curiosity or their joy in the world around them." He points with his chin to their left where a group of adult deer were frisking in the tall grass, apparently for no other reason but to play.
Nienna watches, her eyes glowing. Such graceful creatures, with no thought for the future. "They don't know what will happen to them. A wolf, maybe, or a bear. They can frolic because they don't know. They see only today. And yet," she adds thoughtfully, "they seem so happy, for today."
Aule turns his gaze from the deer to look at his companion, "Why would they need to see more than today, when today holds so much for them?" He indicates the forest around them with a sweep of his eyes. "They have the beauty of their world here in the forest, Iluvatar's soft springing grass beneath their hooves, the sweetest of water to drink from crystal clear streams and the warm soft fur of each other to curl up against at night when they seek their rest. Are those not joys enough to absorb any being in today rather than dark thoughts of the future?"
Nienna frowns in confusion. "You sound like a poet of the Children, thinking of these transient things. But you and I are born of the thought of the One. We see the whole progression of the world. Why do you give thought to these fleeting matters?"
Aule furrows his brow in thought for a moment and looks back at the deer before he replies, "But what is the purpose of the progression of the world if not for all to live and experience that life?" He drops his gaze as he tries to think on how to explain why the experience of life itself was so important, and in doing so, his eyes come to rest on his companion's feet. His companion's bare feet. He stares at them for several moments rubbing his chin in thought before at last he raises his gaze to hers. "Nienna," he asks, "Why doest thou go barefoot?"
Nienna blinks at the sudden change of topic. "Oh, is it wrong to go barefoot? I have trouble remembering all the rules for the clothing of these physical bodies. I ... to tell the truth, I had trouble figuring out how 'shoes' are supposed to work. How mortals get them on, how to fasten them, how to walk with them. 'Walking' is hard to learn, even without," she grimaces a little, "things stuck to your feet. But if 'shoes' are important, I will try to learn." She sighs sadly. "I need to look like one of the Children, when I am in Alqualonde."
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| Nienna and Aulë |
Aule's eyes widen with surprise as he listens to Nienna's words. "But does it not pain your feet when we walk as we have been upon the road?" He glances down again to the ground they are standing upon, littered as it is with leaves, dead twigs and pebbles and then looks at her thoughtfully, "Sweet friend, you have not spent much time in the mortal world, have you?"
"Pain? no, why would it pain me? Mortals experience pain, not us of the Ainur." She looks up into his dark eyes, knowing he felt some pain of a quite different nature. But that would be revealed in its own good time. "No, This visit to the Teleri city is the first time I have been in the mortal world for any length of time. I've worn a physical body for the Vanya festivals. It pleases the Vanyar to see us eat their food. But that was only a day at at a time. Of course I don't need a body when dealing with the Dead. These physical bodies are so difficult to learn to use! And they need constant adjusting. I don't know how you manage to spend so much time in one." She looks at his clothing, which shows signs of dust and wear and sweat stains.
Aule shakes his head slowly as he listens to her reply. This, he realised would take some explaining which was best done where they would not disturb the deer. "Come," he whispers and takes her hand again to lead her silently out of the forest. When they reach the road, his gaze turns as it always does back towards the Halls of Mandos. He feels the tug again of that dark chamber upon his consciousness. Yet still he holds Nienna's hand in his own, and it holds him there with her. He lifts it and looks at it as though only just realising he held it. It lay so still and trusting within the grasp of his own large, work-roughened palm, so small and fragile next to his own. "Nienna," he begins, "the mortals do not wear their bodies as one wears a robe or a cloak. Their bodies are how they live, how they experience their life."
Nienna looks down at her hand, resting in Aule's. Her hand, eternally perfect, in his, dirtied and worn by his work. "Your hands," she says slowly, "your raiment. You could fix them, with only a thought. Yet you do not." She looks back up at his face, smudged with stone-dust from building the wall this morning. "Living in a mortal body, seeing with mortal eyes, is limiting. When I am in this body, I perceive only what is near. And 'within sight' as the Children say. One thing can block another from view! It is difficult. But you speak as though there were more. I am not sure of what you speak."Aule shakes his head. 'No, I do not, for such is not the way with mortal beings. You speak of seeing with mortal eyes and how limiting it is, yet you do not speak of the other senses with which the mortals are blessed." He raises his other hand and with one finger gently strokes the back of the delicate hand in his own. "Do you feel that, Nienna? Do you feel how soft and smooth your skin is beneath the touch of my own? My own that is rough and calloused from my work? Can you feel the difference between the two? Can you feel the gentleness that I use rather than a harsh touch?" He enfolds her hand in both of his as he raises his dark eyes to hers. "Can you feel the warmth of my hands as they hold yours?"
Nienna looks from their hands, to Aule's eyes, back to their hands. Her lips pucker a bit in consternation, and her eyebrows draw down. She raises her eyes, green as moss, to Aule's, and shakes her head imperceptibly. "The mortals have senses for such things?"
Aule nods slowly as full realisation begins to dawn upon him of just how limited Nienna's experience of the world around them truly was. The warmth of the sun upon their skin where they stood, the gentle caress of the breeze that lifted her hair in soft tendrils, none of it was felt by her. "You did not know this?" he asks. "Your body does not tell you this? Does not feel these things that all the mortals feel from the very day they first draw breath?"
"No," she says uncertainly. "Our lives are not like those of the mortals."
Aule frowns in thought and drops his eyes down to where her hand still lies cupped within his own. Slowly he opens them and stares down at hers, trying to imagine what it must be like not to feel the touch of another in all its complexities of sensation. He raises his eyes and glances around at the forest that hems their path so closely, his nostrils flaring at the scents upon the breeze of moss, bark and rich earth. His gaze returns to the woman beside him, the woman who was so beautiful yet so unaware of that beauty or that of the world around them. "It is true. our lives are not like those of the mortals. But how can we advise and guide them if we do not fully understand what their life is like, what their world is like or what they experience? Sweet Lady of Compassion, I do not mean to slight you, but if you have never experienced life as they know it, fully, then how can you truly understand what it is they lose when they come to you in the Halls of Mandos?'"
Nienna shakes her head. "Always they tell me of their pain, their grief at losing their mortal life. And I grieve with them, for it affects them so, even when their lives have been unpleasant. Is that not mysterious? But so Eru must have made them, to cling to their mortal lives, and wish to return." She looks questioningly at him. "You speak as if this is something an Ainu could experience? To truly perceive the world as the created Children perceive it?"
Aule gives a soft chuckle and looks again at his calloused hands. "Oh, yes indeed, it is something that we can experience. It is something I have experienced for long periods of time. When one lives in a mortal body and opens oneself fully to the experiences of the world, the body and brain develop pathways of communication. For example, I touch you with my fingertips, and although it is a gentle touch, still your skin would tell you that my fingertip is rough and the skin hard. Yet, if I were to then lift your hand and do this".. he lifts her hand and gently brushes the back of it with his lips..."Your body should tell you it was a far softer, more delicate touch for I do not build walls with my lips." He smiles a little as he lowers her hand again. "These are the things that should be said between your body and your brain if the pathways were there. But, you have worn a mortal body so rarely, you do not have these pathways, do you?"
Nienna watches at Aule brings her hand to his lips. An odd gesture. At least he has calmed from his earlier stomping and scowling. The conversation is successfully distracting him. All to the good. She continues, genuinely curious about the physical sensations he is describing. "No, no such pathways. My brain has all it can do to remember how to operate a body at all."
Aule glances down at the hand he still holds in his own and then back up to those liquid green eyes. "Would you like to have them? Would you like to experience the world fully as the mortals do? I can help you, you know, if you permit it. If you allow I can open those pathways for you."
Nienna glances toward the woods behind them, where a fawn nibbles a sprig of willow, and then bounds off into the shadows. "Yes, please. Show me what the mortals know, that I do not."
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