Rhûn Darkmoon and Shawn Daysleeper
Uncertainty is not a feeling Aulë had ever been familiar with. Yet it washes through him now with the same power as the Spring tides that wash the shores of Middle Earth at this time. So it is with relief that, as he stands gazing back down the stairwell that he sees the familiar and authorative form of Manwë as he mounts the lower stairs and turns the corner and makes his way up the last few steps to this upper level.
Manwë mounts the last staircase as he returns to the upper levels of Mandos. Since leaving the destroyed chamber he has been thinking on the bitterness and hate that fueled the bad energies in the chamber, but no more. The Lord of the West thinks he now can confront the evil in Aulë's form, now that he understands what has caused it. He arrives on the landing, the light of the outside entering the hallway from the room ahead. Aulë's form blocks the light ahead. He can hear raised voices issuing from the foyer but what he wishes to say to Aule, he must say alone. Holding his finger to his lips, he motions Aulë to follow him up do discuss this privately and away from the others.
Aulë stands hesitant for but a moment as the Lord of the West beckons him upstairs. Resolutely he turns his back on the temptation to confront Eonwë in the foyer again and silently follows Manwë up the stairs to the upper gallery of Mandos, taking comfort from the confident and reassuring manner of the one who leads him there. He glances around the long open gallery, unfamiliar with this part of Mandos, for it is one he has had no cause to visit. Long rows of windows gently filter the twilight of Aman and the soft grey stone of the walls cast a soothing atmosphere to the room. Silently he follows as bid.
The Breath of Arda passes along the hall passing through alternate twilight and dark light filtering through the windows. While the spirits of the dead visit here occasionally, none were here at the moment. He and th Maker were alone. At length he stops at a bench along the wall. He takes a seat on the bench and invites Aulë to sit with him. "Please, here we can talk candidly. Tell me, what has happened?"
Slowly, Aulë lowers himself onto the bench. He turns his body so he can look at the other vala as they speak although for a moment he keeps his eyes down as he tries to gather his words. Where to begin? What did it all start? Was it really only from the time the old chamber was discovered? Or when Eonwe first confronted him? He rubs his brow as he tries to think where all that he feels at this moment truly began.
Finally, hesitant still, he lifts his eyes at last, fearful that he will see the same condemnation and judgment in Manwe's eyes that he had found with Eonwë. Yet the eyes that look back at him are filled with compassion and concern. Encouraged, halting at first, the words tumble from his lips. 'It.. it all seemed so clear to me, at first. The chamber was discovered and the maiar helping me fell sick. I thought..'.. he pauses and swallows before continuing, 'I thought that if I cleansed the chambers of the evil within it, then perhaps, perhaps at last I might be forgiven my indiscretion when I thought to create the dwarves.'
He stops and stares a moment as he realise the utter truth of his words. 'I have always felt a shadow over me, a shadow of doubt. Am I like Melkor, carrying a rotten taint? Will I fall as he did? I wanted to show you, to prove to you that I will fight his evil with my last breath if need be. I.. I wanted to show you that you could rely on me.'
His dark eyes glisten with the strength of his emotion and he turns to stare down the length of the gallery before summonly his courage and speaking again, 'So I cleansed the chambers. Eonwë arrived and accused me of treachery for doing so and.. and everything seemed to melt and change and nothing seemed right again. I was coming to see you, to explain and found an evil plant growing near Valimar. I paused on my journey and walled it up to protect any who might come near it, meaning to continue to you, to speak to you, but... but then I met the Lady Neinna and ..' again he pauses, this time rubbing his forehead as though struggling to recall events. He lets out a long sigh and looks back into Manwe's eyes, 'I.. nothing makes sense. It is as though I live in a fog. Nothing is right. I.. I don't understand any of it any more. I thought it was so clear but.. but now I don't understand any of it.'
Manwë listens and thinks over Aulë's response. He had asked him what happened and the Lord of the West sees and believes his sincerity. He needs to think about what he has heard and verify some of this by talking to the others but he is tempted to believe him. "The magic seemed to take something good and twist it. This is what hate does." Manwë begins gently "I do not understand all that has happened, but I want to assure you that I believe what you have said. You have taken the first step back to the light" Manwë smiles "The rest, we will take together."
Aulë stares into the blue eyes of the Lord of the West, his whole being utterly still, except for a small muscle that works in his jaw as Manwë's words wash through him. 'I believe what you have said.' Deep inside the Smith something kept locked away for all these Ages cracks, and like a dam wall weakened with age and besieged by a torrent, it shatters. All the pain of believing himself doubted, the need to prove himself worthy that so often had translated into arrogance in his manner, the poisonous seeds of self-doubt from his own thoughts, all, all are washed away by those few simple words. His dark eyes gleam in the soft light from the nearby windows as he lowers his lashes and humbly asks, 'What would you have me do? I will do whatever you ask.'
The Lord of the West looks over Aulë and considers his question. He knows he is still affected by the dark power because he was in the chamber so long. "I am bidding you go to the Garden of Lórien. In the midst of the gardens is the lake of Lórellin. The waters of the lake are bestowed with healing powers to cure the darkness within you." Manwë smiles "but I ask you to wait until I have spoken with the others first. I desire you wait here for my return before your departure." He did not wish for there to be a confrontation between the Smith and Eonwë or Yavanna, nor did he wish for the temptations of Nienna to affect him. He rises and turns towards the stairs back down, but pauses a moment and says "do not worry, we will all join at Lórellin together."
Aulë gives a nod of his head in acknowledgment of Manwë's command. He rises to his feet and in a gesture never before seen in the Maker, he goes down on one knee before the Breath of Arda, one hand clenched in a salute of respect and allegiance over his heart. His voice rumbles huskily from the emotions coursing through him as he murmurs, 'As you wish, so I shall do.'
> Next
> Next