Rajani Milton
Never in many long years has Ilmarë's heart been so torn. These last days she has been the eyes and ears of her Lord Manwë as Eonwë has fallen deeper and deeper into his own troubles. She has had to fill the place of two Maiar: her own and her brother's, and she feels at times that she has not done well in either. She has hardly had time to attend to her duties as starkeeper, and she cannot be everything to her lord that her brother once was. Now that the Lord of the West and the Lady Yavanna have departed for Mandos, Ilmarë's heart draws her back to her Lady, but not without lingering doubts. She should be with her brother.
She finds Varda in the utmost tower of Taniquetil, gazing out over the world.
"My lady, Lord Manwë goes to Mandos to find Eonwë and the Maker," Ilmarë says.
Varda turns to her and Ilmarë's heart catches in her throat, as it always does at the sight of her Lady. The form she wears is beautiful beyond any song of the Children of Eru, but it is the spirit within that draws Ilmarë to her. The Starkindler is the greatest of queens and the centre of Ilmarë's world. Of course, Ilmarë thinks. Of course I should be here with her.
There is surprise written on the Lady's face. "And you have not gone with them, Starkeeper?"
Ilmarë shakes her head and bows low. "No, Lady. There is much to do in your service. I have fallen behind in my duties. Please, Lady, forgive me."
Varda catches her chin and makes her look up. "You are troubled, and would be near your brother. You should go to him, Ilmarë."
"But I cannot go! The stars in the far west need tuning. The dark stars of the north are not at peace. Alcarinquë is troubled yet again. And--and I have not found the lost Morning Star."
Varda laughs, a bright sound full of joy. "Handmaiden. Am I not Elentári, the Queen of Stars? Can I not rule my own realm? At least for a short while? I will not have a handmaiden whose heart is so burdened that she cannot think clearly."
"Lady, the Maiar need me. There has been no one to lead them with Eonwë lost in his own thoughts."
The Lady draws her to her feet. "You are afraid, Ilmarë."
Ilmarë feels tears start to prick the corners of her eyes. Such strange responses from this Elvish form. "Lady, he has gone to confront the Maker. I cannot think that that will go well for him. I am afraid of what I might see."
Varda holds Ilmarë's face gently. "I see great darkness in Mandos, Ilmarë, but also a glimmer of hope. Go to your brother. Bring me news, my bright star."
Ilmarë meets her queen's eyes. "Yes, Lady." For the first time since Eonwë told her of his troubles, Ilmarë's heart speaks with one voice. The will of the Valar and her own are the same.
She bows deeply and turns her face towards Mandos. She flees as quickly as she can down the long stairs from the tower, and when that is not fast enough, she lets her body fall away and moves with the speed of thought.
I am coming, Eonwë.
> Next
She finds Varda in the utmost tower of Taniquetil, gazing out over the world.
"My lady, Lord Manwë goes to Mandos to find Eonwë and the Maker," Ilmarë says.
Varda turns to her and Ilmarë's heart catches in her throat, as it always does at the sight of her Lady. The form she wears is beautiful beyond any song of the Children of Eru, but it is the spirit within that draws Ilmarë to her. The Starkindler is the greatest of queens and the centre of Ilmarë's world. Of course, Ilmarë thinks. Of course I should be here with her.
There is surprise written on the Lady's face. "And you have not gone with them, Starkeeper?"
Ilmarë shakes her head and bows low. "No, Lady. There is much to do in your service. I have fallen behind in my duties. Please, Lady, forgive me."
Varda catches her chin and makes her look up. "You are troubled, and would be near your brother. You should go to him, Ilmarë."
"But I cannot go! The stars in the far west need tuning. The dark stars of the north are not at peace. Alcarinquë is troubled yet again. And--and I have not found the lost Morning Star."
Varda laughs, a bright sound full of joy. "Handmaiden. Am I not Elentári, the Queen of Stars? Can I not rule my own realm? At least for a short while? I will not have a handmaiden whose heart is so burdened that she cannot think clearly."
"Lady, the Maiar need me. There has been no one to lead them with Eonwë lost in his own thoughts."
The Lady draws her to her feet. "You are afraid, Ilmarë."
Ilmarë feels tears start to prick the corners of her eyes. Such strange responses from this Elvish form. "Lady, he has gone to confront the Maker. I cannot think that that will go well for him. I am afraid of what I might see."
Varda holds Ilmarë's face gently. "I see great darkness in Mandos, Ilmarë, but also a glimmer of hope. Go to your brother. Bring me news, my bright star."
Ilmarë meets her queen's eyes. "Yes, Lady." For the first time since Eonwë told her of his troubles, Ilmarë's heart speaks with one voice. The will of the Valar and her own are the same.
She bows deeply and turns her face towards Mandos. She flees as quickly as she can down the long stairs from the tower, and when that is not fast enough, she lets her body fall away and moves with the speed of thought.
I am coming, Eonwë.
> Next